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Metamorphosis
By
Franz Kafka
Metamorphosis
By
Franz
Kafka
Translated by David Wyllie.
Contents
I =
II =
III =
=
One
morning, when Gregor Samsa woke from troubled dreams, he found himself tran=
sformed
in his bed into a horrible vermin.
He lay on his armour-like back, and if he lifted his head a little he
could see his brown belly, slightly domed and divided by arches into stiff =
sections. The bedding was hardly able to cov=
er it
and seemed ready to slide off any moment.&=
nbsp;
His many legs, pitifully thin compared with the size of the rest of =
him,
waved about helplessly as he looked.
"What's happened to me?" he
thought. It wasn't a dream. His room, a proper human room alth=
ough a
little too small, lay peacefully between its four familiar walls. A collection of textile samples lay
spread out on the table - Samsa was a travelling salesman - and above it th=
ere
hung a picture that he had recently cut out of an illustrated magazine and
housed in a nice, gilded frame. It
showed a lady fitted out with a fur hat and fur boa who sat upright, raisin=
g a
heavy fur muff that covered the whole of her lower arm towards the viewer.<=
o:p>
Gregor then turned to look out the window at t=
he
dull weather. Drops of rain could be heard hitting the pane, which made him
feel quite sad. "How abo=
ut if
I sleep a little bit longer and forget all this nonsense", he thought,=
but
that was something he was unable to do because he was used to sleeping on h=
is
right, and in his present state couldn't get into that position. However hard he threw himself onto=
his
right, he always rolled back to where he was. He must have tried it a hundred ti=
mes,
shut his eyes so that he wouldn't have to look at the floundering legs, and
only stopped when he began to feel a mild, dull pain there that he had never
felt before.
"Oh, God", he thought, "what a
strenuous career it is that I've chosen! Travelling day in and day out. Doing business like this takes muc=
h more
effort than doing your own business at home, and on top of that there's the
curse of travelling, worries about making train connections, bad and irregu=
lar
food, contact with different people all the time so that you can never get =
to
know anyone or become friendly with them.&=
nbsp;
It can all go to Hell!"
He felt a slight itch up on his belly; pushed himself slowly up on h=
is
back towards the headboard so that he could lift his head better; found whe=
re
the itch was, and saw that it was covered with lots of little white spots w=
hich
he didn't know what to make of; and when he tried to feel the place with on=
e of
his legs he drew it quickly back because as soon as he touched it he was
overcome by a cold shudder.
He slid back into his former position. "Getting up early all the tim=
e",
he thought, "it makes you stupid.&nbs=
p;
You've got to get enough sleep.&nbs=
p;
Other travelling salesmen live a life of luxury. For instance, whenever I go back t=
o the
guest house during the morning to copy out the contract, these gentlemen are
always still sitting there eating their breakfasts. I ought to just try that with my b=
oss;
I'd get kicked out on the spot. But
who knows, maybe that would be the best thing for me. If I didn't have my parents to thi=
nk
about I'd have given in my notice a long time ago, I'd have gone up to the =
boss
and told him just what I think, tell him everything I would, let him know j=
ust
what I feel. He'd fall right =
off
his desk! And it's a funny sort of business to be sitting up there at your
desk, talking down at your subordinates from up there, especially when you =
have
to go right up close because the boss is hard of hearing. Well, there's still some hope; onc=
e I've
got the money together to pay off my parents' debt to him - another five or=
six
years I suppose - that's definitely what I'll do. That's when I'll make the big
change. First of all though, =
I've
got to get up, my train leaves at five."
And he looked over at the alarm clock, ticking=
on
the chest of drawers. "G=
od in
Heaven!" he thought. It =
was
half past six and the hands were quietly moving forwards, it was even later
than half past, more like quarter to seven. Had the alarm clock not rung? He c=
ould
see from the bed that it had been set for four o'clock as it should have be=
en;
it certainly must have rung. =
Yes,
but was it possible to quietly sleep through that furniture-rattling noise?=
True,
he had not slept peacefully, but probably all the more deeply because of
that. What should he do now? =
The
next train went at seven; if he were to catch that he would have to rush li=
ke
mad and the collection of samples was still not packed, and he did not at a=
ll
feel particularly fresh and lively.
And even if he did catch the train he would not avoid his boss's ang=
er
as the office assistant would have been there to see the five o'clock train=
go,
he would have put in his report about Gregor's not being there a long time
ago. The office assistant was=
the
boss's man, spineless, and with no understanding. What about if he reported sick? Bu=
t that
would be extremely strained and suspicious as in fifteen years of service
Gregor had never once yet been ill.
His boss would certainly come round with the doctor from the medical
insurance company, accuse his parents of having a lazy son, and accept the =
doctor's
recommendation not to make any claim as the doctor believed that no-one was
ever ill but that many were workshy.
And what's more, would he have been entirely wrong in this case? Gre=
gor
did in fact, apart from excessive sleepiness after sleeping for so long, fe=
el
completely well and even felt much hungrier than usual.
He was still hurriedly thinking all this throu=
gh,
unable to decide to get out of the bed, when the clock struck quarter to se=
ven.
There was a cautious knock at the door near his head. "Gregor", somebody calle=
d - it
was his mother - "it's quarter to seven. Didn't you want to go
somewhere?" That gentle =
voice!
Gregor was shocked when he heard his own voice answering, it could hardly b=
e recognised
as the voice he had had before. As
if from deep inside him, there was a painful and uncontrollable squeaking m=
ixed
in with it, the words could be made out at first but then there was a sort =
of
echo which made them unclear, leaving the hearer unsure whether he had heard
properly or not. Gregor had w=
anted
to give a full answer and explain everything, but in the circumstances
contented himself with saying: "Yes, mother, yes, thank-you, I'm getti=
ng
up now." The change in
Gregor's voice probably could not be noticed outside through the wooden doo=
r,
as his mother was satisfied with this explanation and shuffled away. But this short conversation made t=
he
other members of the family aware that Gregor, against their expectations w=
as
still at home, and soon his father came knocking at one of the side doors,
gently, but with his fist. "Gregor, Gregor", he called, "wha=
t's
wrong?" And after a shor=
t while
he called again with a warning deepness in his voice: "Gregor! Gregor!=
" At the other side door his sister =
came
plaintively: "Gregor? Aren't you well? Do you need anything?" Gregor answered to both sides: &qu=
ot;I'm
ready, now", making an effort to remove all the strangeness from his v=
oice
by enunciating very carefully and putting long pauses between each, individ=
ual
word. His father went back to=
his
breakfast, but his sister whispered: "Gregor, open the door, I beg of
you." Gregor, however, h=
ad no
thought of opening the door, and instead congratulated himself for his caut=
ious
habit, acquired from his travelling, of locking all doors at night even whe=
n he
was at home.
The first thing he wanted to do was to get up =
in
peace without being disturbed, to get dressed, and most of all to have his
breakfast. Only then would he consider what to do next, as he was well awar=
e that
he would not bring his thoughts to any sensible conclusions by lying in
bed. He remembered that he had
often felt a slight pain in bed, perhaps caused by lying awkwardly, but that
had always turned out to be pure imagination and he wondered how his imagin=
ings
would slowly resolve themselves today.&nbs=
p;
He did not have the slightest doubt that the change in his voice was
nothing more than the first sign of a serious cold, which was an occupation=
al
hazard for travelling salesmen.
It was a simple matter to throw off the covers=
; he
only had to blow himself up a little and they fell off by themselves. But it became difficult after that,
especially as he was so exceptionally broad. He would have used his arms and
his hands to push himself up; but instead of them he only had all those lit=
tle
legs continuously moving in different directions, and which he was moreover
unable to control. If he want=
ed to
bend one of them, then that was the first one that would stretch itself out;
and if he finally managed to do what he wanted with that leg, all the others
seemed to be set free and would move about painfully. "This is something that can't=
be done
in bed", Gregor said to himself, "so don't keep trying to do it&q=
uot;.
The first thing he wanted to do was get the lo=
wer
part of his body out of the bed, but he had never seen this lower part, and
could not imagine what it looked like; it turned out to be too hard to move=
; it
went so slowly; and finally, almost in a frenzy, when he carelessly shoved
himself forwards with all the force he could gather, he chose the wrong
direction, hit hard against the lower bedpost, and learned from the burning
pain he felt that the lower part of his body might well, at present, be the
most sensitive.
So then he tried to get the top part of his bo=
dy
out of the bed first, carefully turning his head to the side. This he managed quite easily, and
despite its breadth and its weight, the bulk of his body eventually followed
slowly in the direction of the head. But when he had at last got his head o=
ut
of the bed and into the fresh air it occurred to him that if he let himself
fall it would be a miracle if his head were not injured, so he became afrai=
d to
carry on pushing himself forward the same way. And he could not knock himself out=
now
at any price; better to stay in bed than lose consciousness.
It took just as much effort to get back to whe=
re
he had been earlier, but when he lay there sighing, and was once more watch=
ing his
legs as they struggled against each other even harder than before, if that =
was
possible, he could think of no way of bringing peace and order to this
chaos. He told himself once m=
ore
that it was not possible for him to stay in bed and that the most sensible =
thing
to do would be to get free of it in whatever way he could at whatever
sacrifice. At the same time,
though, he did not forget to remind himself that calm consideration was muc=
h better
than rushing to desperate conclusions.&nbs=
p;
At times like this he would direct his eyes to the window and look o=
ut
as clearly as he could, but unfortunately, even the other side of the narrow
street was enveloped in morning fog and the view had little confidence or c=
heer
to offer him. "Seven o'c=
lock,
already", he said to himself when the clock struck again, "seven
o'clock, and there's still a fog like this." And he lay there quietly a while l=
onger,
breathing lightly as if he perhaps expected the total stillness to bring th=
ings
back to their real and natural state.
But then he said to himself: "Before it
strikes quarter past seven I'll definitely have to have got properly out of
bed. And by then somebody wil=
l have
come round from work to ask what's happened to me as well, as they open up =
at
work before seven o'clock."
And so he set himself to the task of swinging the entire length of h=
is
body out of the bed all at the same time.&=
nbsp;
If he succeeded in falling out of bed in this way and kept his head
raised as he did so he could probably avoid injuring it. His back seemed to be quite hard, =
and probably
nothing would happen to it falling onto the carpet. His main concern was for the loud =
noise
he was bound to make, and which even through all the doors would probably r=
aise
concern if not alarm. But it =
was
something that had to be risked.
When Gregor was already sticking half way out =
of
the bed - the new method was more of a game than an effort, all he had to do
was rock back and forth - it occurred to him how simple everything would be=
if
somebody came to help him. Two
strong people - he had his father and the maid in mind - would have been mo=
re
than enough; they would only have to push their arms under the dome of his
back, peel him away from the bed, bend down with the load and then be patie=
nt
and careful as he swang over onto the floor, where, hopefully, the little l=
egs
would find a use. Should he r=
eally
call for help though, even apart from the fact that all the doors were lock=
ed? Despite
all the difficulty he was in, he could not suppress a smile at this thought=
.
After a while he had already moved so far acro=
ss
that it would have been hard for him to keep his balance if he rocked too
hard. The time was now ten pa=
st
seven and he would have to make a final decision very soon. Then there was a ring at the door =
of the
flat. "That'll be someone from work", he said to himself, and fro=
ze
very still, although his little legs only became all the more lively as they
danced around. For a moment
everything remained quiet. "They're not opening the door", Gregor
said to himself, caught in some nonsensical hope. But then of course, the maid's firm
steps went to the door as ever and opened it. Gregor only needed to hear the vis=
itor's
first words of greeting and he knew who it was - the chief clerk himself. Why did Gregor have to be the only=
one condemned
to work for a company where they immediately became highly suspicious at the
slightest shortcoming? Were all employees, every one of them, louts, was th=
ere
not one of them who was faithful and devoted who would go so mad with pangs=
of
conscience that he couldn't get out of bed if he didn't spend at least a co=
uple
of hours in the morning on company business? Was it really not enough to let
one of the trainees make enquiries - assuming enquiries were even necessary=
-
did the chief clerk have to come himself, and did they have to show the who=
le,
innocent family that this was so suspicious that only the chief clerk could=
be
trusted to have the wisdom to investigate it? And more because these though=
ts
had made him upset than through any proper decision, he swang himself with =
all
his force out of the bed. The=
re was
a loud thump, but it wasn't really a loud noise. His fall was softened a little by =
the
carpet, and Gregor's back was also more elastic than he had thought, which =
made
the sound muffled and not too noticeable.&=
nbsp;
He had not held his head carefully enough, though, and hit it as he
fell; annoyed and in pain, he turned it and rubbed it against the carpet.
"Something's fallen down in there", =
said
the chief clerk in the room on the left.&n=
bsp;
Gregor tried to imagine whether something of the sort that had happe=
ned
to him today could ever happen to the chief clerk too; you had to concede t=
hat
it was possible. But as if in=
gruff
reply to this question, the chief clerk's firm footsteps in his highly poli=
shed
boots could now be heard in the adjoining room. From the room on his right,
Gregor's sister whispered to him to let him know: "Gregor, the chief c=
lerk
is here." "Yes, I k=
now",
said Gregor to himself; but without daring to raise his voice loud enough f=
or
his sister to hear him.
"Gregor", said his father now from t=
he
room to his left, "the chief clerk has come round and wants to know why
you didn't leave on the early train.
We don't know what to say to him.&n=
bsp;
And anyway, he wants to speak to you personally. So please open up this door. I'm sure he'll be good enough to f=
orgive
the untidiness of your room." Then the chief clerk called "Good
morning, Mr. Samsa". &qu=
ot;He
isn't well", said his mother to the chief clerk, while his father cont=
inued
to speak through the door. &q=
uot;He
isn't well, please believe me. Why
else would Gregor have missed a train! The lad only ever thinks about the
business. It nearly makes me =
cross
the way he never goes out in the evenings; he's been in town for a week now=
but
stayed home every evening. He=
sits
with us in the kitchen and just reads the paper or studies train
timetables. His idea of relax=
ation is
working with his fretsaw. He'=
s made
a little frame, for instance, it only took him two or three evenings, you'l=
l be
amazed how nice it is; it's hanging up in his room; you'll see it as soon as
Gregor opens the door. Anyway=
, I'm
glad you're here; we wouldn't have been able to get Gregor to open the door=
by
ourselves; he's so stubborn; and I'm sure he isn't well, he said this morni=
ng
that he is, but he isn't."
"I'll be there in a moment", said Gregor slowly and
thoughtfully, but without moving so that he would not miss any word of the
conversation. "Well I ca=
n't
think of any other way of explaining it,&n=
bsp;
Mrs. Samsa", said the chief clerk, "I hope it's nothing
serious. But on the other han=
d, I
must say that if we people in commerce ever become slightly unwell then,
fortunately or unfortunately as you like, we simply have to overcome it bec=
ause
of business considerations."
"Can the chief clerk come in to see you now then?", asked =
his
father impatiently, knocking at the door again. "No", said Gregor. In the room on his right there fol=
lowed a
painful silence; in the room on his left his sister began to cry.
So why did his sister not go and join the othe=
rs?
She had probably only just got up and had not even begun to get dressed. For the time being he just lay the=
re on
the carpet, and no-one who knew the condition he was in would seriously have
expected him to let the chief clerk in.&nb=
sp;
It was only a minor discourtesy, and a suitable excuse could easily =
be found
for it later on, it was not something for which Gregor could be sacked on t=
he
spot. And it seemed to Gregor=
much
more sensible to leave him now in peace instead of disturbing him with talk=
ing
at him and crying. But the ot=
hers
didn't know what was happening, they were worried, that would excuse their
behaviour.
The chief clerk now raised his voice, "Mr.
Samsa", he called to him, "what is wrong? You barricade yourself =
in
your room, give us no more than yes or no for an answer, you are causing
serious and unnecessary concern to your parents and you fail - and I mentio=
n this
just by the way - you fail to carry out your business duties in a way that =
is
quite unheard of. I'm speakin=
g here
on behalf of your parents and of your employer, and really must request a c=
lear
and immediate explanation. I =
am
astonished, quite astonished. I thought
I knew you as a calm and sensible person, and now you suddenly seem to be
showing off with peculiar whims.
This morning, your employer did suggest a possible reason for your
failure to appear, it's true - it had to do with the money that was recentl=
y entrusted
to you - but I came near to giving him my word of honour that that could no=
t be
the right explanation. But no=
w that
I see your incomprehensible stubbornness I no longer feel any wish whatsoev=
er
to intercede on your behalf. =
And
nor is your position all that secure.
I had originally intended to say all this to you in private, but sin=
ce
you cause me to waste my time here for no good reason I don't see why your
parents should not also learn of it. Your turnover has been very unsatisfac=
tory
of late; I grant you that it's not the time of year to do especially good
business, we recognise that; but there simply is no time of year to do no b=
usiness
at all, Mr. Samsa, we cannot =
allow
there to be."
"But Sir", called Gregor, beside him=
self
and forgetting all else in the excitement, "I'll open up immediately, =
just
a moment. I'm slightly unwell=
, an
attack of dizziness, I haven't been able to get up. I'm still in bed now. I'm quite fresh again now, though.=
I'm just getting out of bed. Just a moment. Be patient! It's not quite as easy=
as
I'd thought. I'm quite alrigh=
t now,
though. It's shocking, what c=
an
suddenly happen to a person! I was quite alright last night, my parents know
about it, perhaps better than me, I had a small symptom of it last night
already. They must have notic=
ed it. I don't know why I didn't let you =
know
at work! But you always think you can get over an illness without staying a=
t home. Please, don't make my parents suff=
er!
There's no basis for any of the accusations you're making; nobody's ever sa=
id a
word to me about any of these things.
Maybe you haven't read the latest contracts I sent in. I'll set off with the eight o'cloc=
k train,
as well, these few hours of rest have given me strength. You don't need to wait, sir; I'll =
be in
the office soon after you, and please be so good as to tell that to the boss
and recommend me to him!"
And while Gregor gushed out these words, hardly
knowing what he was saying, he made his way over to the chest of drawers - =
this
was easily done, probably because of the practise he had already had in bed=
-
where he now tried to get himself upright.=
He really did want to open the door, really did want to let them see=
him
and to speak with the chief clerk; the others were being so insistent, and =
he
was curious to learn what they would say when they caught sight of him. If =
they
were shocked then it would no longer be Gregor's responsibility and he coul=
d rest. If, however, they took everything =
calmly
he would still have no reason to be upset, and if he hurried he really coul=
d be
at the station for eight o'clock.
The first few times he tried to climb up on the smooth chest of draw=
ers
he just slid down again, but he finally gave himself one last swing and sto=
od
there upright; the lower part of his body was in serious pain but he no lon=
ger
gave any attention to it. Now=
he
let himself fall against the back of a nearby chair and held tightly to the
edges of it with his little legs.
By now he had also calmed down, and kept quiet so that he could list=
en
to what the chief clerk was saying.
"Did you understand a word of all that?&q=
uot;
the chief clerk asked his parents, "surely he's not trying to make foo=
ls
of us". "Oh, God!" called his mother, who was already in tea=
rs,
"he could be seriously ill and we're making him suffer. Grete! Grete!" she then cried=
. "Mother?"
his sister called from the other side.&nbs=
p;
They communicated across Gregor's room. "You'll have to go for the do=
ctor
straight away. Gregor is ill.=
Quick, get the doctor. Did you hear the way Gregor spoke =
just
now?" "That was the=
voice
of an animal", said the chief clerk, with a calmness that was in contr=
ast
with his mother's screams.
"Anna! Anna!" his father called into the kitchen through t=
he
entrance hall, clapping his hands, "get a locksmith here, now!" A=
nd
the two girls, their skirts swishing, immediately ran out through the hall,
wrenching open the front door of the flat as they went. How had his sister managed to get
dressed so quickly? There was no sound of the door banging shut again; they
must have left it open; people
often do in homes where something awful has happened.
Gregor, in contrast, had become much calmer. So they couldn't understand his wo=
rds
any more, although they seemed clear enough to him, clearer than before -
perhaps his ears had become used to the sound. They had realised, though, that th=
ere
was something wrong with him, and were ready to help. The first response to his situatio=
n had
been confident and wise, and that made him feel better. He felt that he had been drawn bac=
k in
among people, and from the doctor and the locksmith he expected great and
surprising achievements - although he did not really distinguish one from t=
he other. Whatever was said next would be cr=
ucial,
so, in order to make his voice as clear as possible, he coughed a little, b=
ut
taking care to do this not too loudly as even this might well sound differe=
nt
from the way that a human coughs and he was no longer sure he could judge t=
his
for himself. Meanwhile, it had
become very quiet in the next room.
Perhaps his parents were sat at the table whispering with the chief
clerk, or perhaps they were all pressed against the door and listening.
Gregor slowly pushed his way over to the door =
with
the chair. Once there he let =
go of
it and threw himself onto the door, holding himself upright against it using
the adhesive on the tips of his legs.
He rested there a little while to recover from the effort involved a=
nd
then set himself to the task of turning the key in the lock with his
mouth. He seemed, unfortunate=
ly, to
have no proper teeth - how was he, then, to grasp the key? - but the lack of
teeth was, of course, made up for with a very strong jaw; using the jaw, he
really was able to start the key turning, ignoring the fact that he must ha=
ve
been causing some kind of damage as a brown fluid came from his mouth, flow=
ed
over the key and dripped onto the floor. "Listen", said the chief
clerk in the next room, "he's turning the key." Gregor was greatly encouraged by t=
his;
but they all should have been calling to him, his father and his mother too:
"Well done, Gregor", they should have cried, "keep at it, ke=
ep
hold of the lock!" And w=
ith
the idea that they were all excitedly following his efforts, he bit on the =
key
with all his strength, paying no attention to the pain he was causing
himself. As the key turned ro=
und he
turned around the lock with it, only holding himself upright with his mouth,
and hung onto the key or pushed it down again with the whole weight of his =
body
as needed. The clear sound of=
the
lock as it snapped back was Gregor's sign that he could break his
concentration, and as he regained his breath he said to himself: "So, I
didn't need the locksmith after all". Then he lay his head on the hand=
le
of the door to open it completely.
Because he had to open the door in this way, it
was already wide open before he could be seen. He had first to slowly turn himsel=
f around
one of the double doors, and he had to do it very carefully if he did not w=
ant
to fall flat on his back before entering the room. He was still occupied with this
difficult movement, unable to pay attention to anything else, when he heard=
the
chief clerk exclaim a loud "Oh!", which sounded like the soughing=
of
the wind. Now he also saw him - he was the nearest to the door - his hand p=
ressed
against his open mouth and slowly retreating as if driven by a steady and
invisible force. Gregor's mot=
her,
her hair still dishevelled from bed despite the chief clerk's being there,
looked at his father. Then she
unfolded her arms, took two steps forward towards Gregor and sank down onto=
the
floor into her skirts that spread themselves out around her as her head
disappeared down onto her breast.
His father looked hostile, and clenched his fists as if wanting to k=
nock
Gregor back into his room. Th=
en he
looked uncertainly round the living room, covered his eyes with his hands a=
nd
wept so that his powerful chest shook.
So Gregor did not go into the room, but leant
against the inside of the other door which was still held bolted in place.<=
span
style=3D'mso-spacerun:yes'> In this way only half of his body =
could
be seen, along with his head above it which he leant over to one side as he
peered out at the others. Meanwhile the day had become much lighter; part of
the endless, grey-black building on the other side of the street - which wa=
s a hospital
- could be seen quite clearly with the austere and regular line of windows
piercing its facade; the rain was still falling, now throwing down large,
individual droplets which hit the ground one at a time. The washing up from breakfast lay =
on the
table; there was so much of it because, for Gregor's father, breakfast was =
the
most important meal of the day and he would stretch it out for several hour=
s as
he sat reading a number of different newspapers. On the wall exactly opposite there=
was photograph
of Gregor when he was a lieutenant in the army, his sword in his hand and a
carefree smile on his face as he called forth respect for his uniform and
bearing. The door to the entr=
ance
hall was open and as the front door of the flat was also open he could see =
onto
the landing and the stairs where they began their way down below.
"Now, then", said Gregor, well aware
that he was the only one to have kept calm, "I'll get dressed straight
away now, pack up my samples and set off.&=
nbsp;
Will you please just let me leave? You can see", he said to the
chief clerk, "that I'm not stubborn and like I like to do my job; bein=
g a
commercial traveller is arduous but without travelling I couldn't earn my
living. So where are you goin=
g, in
to the office? Yes? Will you report everything accurately, then? It's quite
possible for someone to be temporarily unable to work, but that's just the
right time to remember what's been achieved in the past and consider that l=
ater
on, once the difficulty has been removed, he will certainly work with all t=
he
more diligence and concentration.
You're well aware that I'm seriously in debt to our employer as well=
as
having to look after my parents and my sister, so that I'm trapped in a
difficult situation, but I will work my way out of it again. Please don't make things any harde=
r for
me than they are already, and don't take sides against me at the office.
But the chief clerk had turned away as soon as
Gregor had started to speak, and, with protruding lips, only stared back at=
him
over his trembling shoulders as he left.&n=
bsp;
He did not keep still for a moment while Gregor was speaking, but mo=
ved
steadily towards the door without taking his eyes off him. He moved very gradually, as if the=
re had
been some secret prohibition on leaving the room. It was only when he had reached the
entrance hall that he made a sudden movement, drew his foot from the living
room, and rushed forward in a panic.
In the hall, he stretched his right hand far out towards the stairwa=
y as
if out there, there were some supernatural force waiting to save him.
Gregor realised that it was out of the questio=
n to
let the chief clerk go away in this mood if his position in the firm was no=
t to
be put into extreme danger. T=
hat
was something his parents did not understand very well; over the years, they
had become convinced that this job would provide for Gregor for his entire
life, and besides, they had so much to worry about at present that they had
lost sight of any thought for the future.&=
nbsp;
Gregor, though, did think about the future. The chief clerk had to be held bac=
k,
calmed down, convinced and finally won over; the future of Gregor and his
family depended on it! If only his sister were here! She was clever; she was
already in tears while Gregor was still lying peacefully on his back. And the chief clerk was a lover of
women, surely she could persuade him; she would close the front door in the
entrance hall and talk him out of his shocked state. But his sister was not there, Greg=
or
would have to do the job himself.
And without considering that he still was not familiar with how well=
he
could move about in his present state, or that his speech still might not -=
or
probably would not - be understood, he let go of the door; pushed himself
through the opening; tried to reach the chief clerk on the landing who, rid=
iculously,
was holding on to the banister with both hands; but Gregor fell immediately
over and, with a little scream as he sought something to hold onto, landed =
on
his numerous little legs. Har=
dly had
that happened than, for the first time that day, he began to feel alright w=
ith
his body; the little legs had the solid ground under them; to his pleasure,
they did exactly as he told them; they were even making the effort to carry=
him
where he wanted to go; and he was soon believing that all his sorrows would
soon be finally at an end. He=
held
back the urge to move but swayed from side to side as he crouched there on =
the
floor. His mother was not far=
away
in front of him and seemed, at first, quite engrossed in herself, but then =
she
suddenly jumped up with her arms outstretched and her fingers spread shouti=
ng:
"Help, for pity's sake, Help!"&n=
bsp;
The way she held her head suggested she wanted to see Gregor better,=
but
the unthinking way she was hurrying backwards showed that she did not; she =
had
forgotten that the table was behind her with all the breakfast things on it;
when she reached the table she sat quickly down on it without knowing what =
she
was doing; without even seeming to notice that the coffee pot had been knoc=
ked
over and a gush of coffee was pouring down onto the carpet.
"Mother, mother", said Gregor gently,
looking up at her. He had com=
pletely
forgotten the chief clerk for the moment, but could not help himself snappi=
ng
in the air with his jaws at the sight of the flow of coffee. That set his mother screaming anew=
, she
fled from the table and into the arms of his father as he rushed towards he=
r. Gregor,
though, had no time to spare for his parents now; the chief clerk had alrea=
dy
reached the stairs; with his chin on the banister, he looked back for the l=
ast
time. Gregor made a run for h=
im; he
wanted to be sure of reaching him; the chief clerk must have expected
something, as he leapt down several steps at once and disappeared; his shou=
ts
resounding all around the staircase.
The flight of the chief clerk seemed, unfortunately, to put Gregor's=
father
into a panic as well. Until t=
hen he
had been relatively self controlled, but now, instead of running after the
chief clerk himself, or at least not impeding Gregor as he ran after him, G=
regor's
father seized the chief clerk's stick in his right hand (the chief clerk had
left it behind on a chair, along with his hat and overcoat), picked up a la=
rge
newspaper from the table with his left, and used them to drive Gregor back =
into
his room, stamping his foot at him as he went. Gregor's appeals to his father wer=
e of
no help, his appeals were simply not understood, however much he humbly tur=
ned
his head his father merely stamped his foot all the harder. Across the room,
despite the chilly weather, Gregor's mother had pulled open a window, leant=
far
out of it and pressed her hands to her face. A strong draught of air flew in fr=
om the
street towards the stairway, the curtains flew up, the newspapers on the ta=
ble fluttered
and some of them were blown onto the floor. Nothing would stop Gregor's father=
as he
drove him back, making hissing noises at him like a wild man. Gregor had never had any practice =
in
moving backwards and was only able to go very slowly. If Gregor had only been allowed to=
turn
round he would have been back in his room straight away, but he was afraid =
that
if he took the time to do that his father would become impatient, and there=
was
the threat of a lethal blow to his back or head from the stick in his fathe=
r's
hand any moment. Eventually,
though, Gregor realised that he had no choice as he saw, to his disgust, th=
at
he was quite incapable of going backwards in a straight line; so he began, =
as
quickly as possible and with frequent anxious glances at his father, to tur=
n himself
round. It went very slowly, b=
ut
perhaps his father was able to see his good intentions as he did nothing to=
hinder
him, in fact now and then he used the tip of his stick to give directions f=
rom
a distance as to which way to turn.
If only his father would stop that unbearable hissing! It was making
Gregor quite confused. When h=
e had
nearly finished turning round, still listening to that hissing, he made a
mistake and turned himself back a little the way he had just come. He was pleased when he finally had=
his
head in front of the doorway, but then saw that it was too narrow, and his =
body
was too broad to get through it without further difficulty. In his present mood, it obviously =
did
not occur to his father to open the other of the double doors so that Gregor
would have enough space to get through.&nb=
sp;
He was merely fixed on the idea that Gregor should be got back into =
his
room as quickly as possible. =
Nor
would he ever have allowed Gregor the time to get himself upright as
preparation for getting through the doorway. What he did, making more noise than
ever, was to drive Gregor forwards all the harder as if there had been noth=
ing
in the way; it sounded to Gregor as if there was now more than one father
behind him; it was not a pleasant experience, and Gregor pushed himself into
the doorway without regard for what might happen. One side of his body lifted itself=
, he lay
at an angle in the doorway, one flank scraped on the white door and was
painfully injured, leaving vile brown flecks on it, soon he was stuck fast =
and
would not have been able to move at all by himself, the little legs along o=
ne
side hung quivering in the air while those on the other side were pressed
painfully against the ground. Then
his father gave him a hefty shove from behind which released him from where=
he
was held and sent him flying, and heavily bleeding, deep into his room. The door was slammed shut with the=
stick,
then, finally, all was quiet.
=
It was
not until it was getting dark that evening that Gregor awoke from his deep =
and
coma-like sleep. He would have
woken soon afterwards anyway even if he hadn't been disturbed, as he had ha=
d enough
sleep and felt fully rested. =
But he
had the impression that some hurried steps and the sound of the door leading
into the front room being carefully shut had woken him. The light from the electric street=
lamps
shone palely here and there onto the ceiling and tops of the furniture, but
down below, where Gregor was, it was dark.=
He pushed himself over to the door, feeling his way clumsily with his
antennae - of which he was now beginning to learn the value - in order to s=
ee
what had been happening there. The
whole of his left side seemed like one, painfully stretched scar, and he limped badly on his two row=
s of
legs. One of the legs had been
badly injured in the events of that morning - it was nearly a miracle that =
only
one of them had been - and dragged along lifelessly.
It was only when he had reached the door that =
he
realised what it actually was that had drawn him over to it; it was the sme=
ll
of something to eat. By the d=
oor
there was a dish filled with sweetened milk with little pieces of white bre=
ad
floating in it. He was so ple=
ased
he almost laughed, as he was even hungrier than he had been that morning, a=
nd
immediately dipped his head into the milk, nearly covering his eyes with
it. But he soon drew his head=
back
again in disappointment; not only did the pain in his tender left side make=
it
difficult to eat the food - he was only able to eat if his whole body worked
together as a snuffling whole - but the milk did not taste at all nice. Milk like this was normally his fa=
vourite
drink, and his sister had certainly left it there for him because of that, =
but
he turned, almost against his own will, away from the dish and crawled back
into the centre of the room.
Through the crack in the door, Gregor could see
that the gas had been lit in the living room. His father at this time would norm=
ally be
sat with his evening paper, reading it out in a loud voice to Gregor's moth=
er,
and sometimes to his sister, but there was now not a sound to be heard. Gregor's sister would often write =
and
tell him about this reading, but maybe his father had lost the habit in rec=
ent
times. It was so quiet all ar=
ound
too, even though there must have been somebody in the flat. "What a quiet life it is the =
family
lead", said Gregor to himself, and, gazing into the darkness, felt a g=
reat
pride that he was able to provide a life like that in such a nice home for =
his
sister and parents. But what =
now,
if all this peace and wealth and comfort should come to a horrible and frig=
htening
end? That was something that Gregor did not want to think about too much, s=
o he
started to move about, crawling up and down the room.
Once during that long evening, the door on one
side of the room was opened very slightly and hurriedly closed again; later=
on
the door on the other side did the same; it seemed that someone needed to e=
nter
the room but thought better of it.
Gregor went and waited immediately by the door, resolved either to b=
ring
the timorous visitor into the room in some way or at least to find out who =
it was;
but the door was opened no more that night and Gregor waited in vain. The previous morning while the doo=
rs
were locked everyone had wanted to get in there to him, but now, now that he
had opened up one of the doors and the other had clearly been unlocked some
time during the day, no-one came, and the keys were in the other sides.
It was not until late at night that the gaslig=
ht
in the living room was put out, and now it was easy to see that parents and
sister had stayed awake all that time, as they all could be distinctly hear=
d as
they went away together on tip-toe.
It was clear that no-one would come into Gregor's room any more until
morning; that gave him plenty of time to think undisturbed about how he wou=
ld
have to re-arrange his life. =
For
some reason, the tall, empty room where he was forced to remain made him fe=
el
uneasy as he lay there flat on the floor, even though he had been living in=
it
for five years. Hardly aware =
of
what he was doing other than a slight feeling of shame, he hurried under the
couch. It pressed down on his=
back
a little, and he was no longer able to lift his head, but he nonetheless fe=
lt immediately
at ease and his only regret was that his body was too broad to get it all
underneath.
He spent the whole night there. Some of the time he passed in a li=
ght
sleep, although he frequently woke from it in alarm because of his hunger, =
and
some of the time was spent in worries and vague hopes which, however, always
led to the same conclusion: for the time being he must remain calm, he must
show patience and the greatest consideration so that his family could bear =
the unpleasantness
that he, in his present condition, was forced to impose on them.
Gregor soon had the opportunity to test the
strength of his decisions, as early the next morning, almost before the nig=
ht
had ended, his sister, nearly fully dressed, opened the door from the front
room and looked anxiously in. She
did not see him straight away, but when she did notice him under the couch =
- he
had to be somewhere, for God's sake, he couldn't have flown away - she was =
so shocked
that she lost control of herself and slammed the door shut again from
outside. But she seemed to re=
gret
her behaviour, as she opened the door again straight away and came in on
tip-toe as if entering the room of someone seriously ill or even of a stran=
ger.
Gregor had pushed his head forward, right to the edge of the couch, and wat=
ched
her. Would she notice that he=
had
left the milk as it was, realise that it was not from any lack of hunger and
bring him in some other food that was more suitable? If she didn't do it he=
rself
he would rather go hungry than draw her attention to it, although he did fe=
el a
terrible urge to rush forward from under the couch, throw himself at his
sister's feet and beg her for something good to eat. However, his sister noticed the fu=
ll
dish immediately and looked at it and the few drops of milk splashed around=
it
with some surprise. She immed=
iately
picked it up - using a rag, not her bare hands - and carried it out. Gregor was extremely curious as to=
what
she would bring in its place, imagining the wildest possibilities, but he n=
ever
could have guessed what his sister, in her goodness, actually did bring.
This was how Gregor received his food each day
now, once in the morning while his parents and the maid were still asleep, =
and
the second time after everyone had eaten their meal at midday as his parents
would sleep for a little while then as well, and Gregor's sister would send=
the
maid away on some errand. Gre=
gor's
father and mother certainly did not want him to starve either, but perhaps =
it would
have been more than they could stand to have any more experience of his fee=
ding
than being told about it, and perhaps his sister wanted to spare them what
distress she could as they were indeed suffering enough.
It was impossible for Gregor to find out what =
they
had told the doctor and the locksmith that first morning to get them out of=
the
flat. As nobody could underst=
and
him, nobody, not even his sister, thought that he could understand them, so=
he
had to be content to hear his sister's sighs and appeals to the saints as s=
he
moved about his room. It was =
only
later, when she had become a little more used to everything - there was, of
course, no question of her ever becoming fully used to the situation - that
Gregor would sometimes catch a friendly comment, or at least a comment that
could be construed as friendly.
"He's enjoyed his dinner today", she might say when he had
diligently cleared away all the food left for him, or if he left most of it,
which slowly became more and more frequent, she would often say, sadly,
"now everything's just been left there again".
Although Gregor wasn't able to hear any news
directly he did listen to much of what was said in the next rooms, and when=
ever
he heard anyone speaking he would scurry straight to the appropriate door a=
nd press
his whole body against it. Th=
ere
was seldom any conversation, especially at first, that was not about him in
some way, even if only in secret.
For two whole days, all the talk at every mealtime was about what th=
ey
should do now; but even between meals they spoke about the same subject as
there were always at least two members of the family at home - nobody wante=
d to
be at home by themselves and it was out of the question to leave the flat
entirely empty. And on the ve=
ry
first day the maid had fallen to her knees and begged Gregor's mother to let
her go without delay. It was =
not
very clear how much she knew of what had happened but she left within a qua=
rter
of an hour, tearfully thanking Gregor's mother for her dismissal as if she =
had
done her an enormous service. She
even swore emphatically not to tell anyone the slightest about what had hap=
pened,
even though no-one had asked that of her.
Now Gregor's sister also had to help his mother
with the cooking; although that was not so much bother as no-one ate very m=
uch.
Gregor often heard how one of them would unsuccessfully urge another to eat,
and receive no more answer than "no thanks, I've had enough" or
something similar. No-one dra=
nk
very much either. His sister =
would
sometimes ask his father whether he would like a beer, hoping for the chanc=
e to
go and fetch it herself. When=
his
father then said nothing she would add, so that he would not feel selfish, =
that
she could send the housekeeper for it, but then his father would close the
matter with a big, loud "No", and no more would be said.
Even before the first day had come to an end, =
his
father had explained to Gregor's mother and sister what their finances and =
prospects
were. Now and then he stood u=
p from
the table and took some receipt or document from the little cash box he had
saved from his business when it had collapsed five years earlier. Gregor heard how he opened the
complicated lock and then closed it again after he had taken the item he
wanted. What he heard his fat=
her
say was some of the first good news that Gregor heard since he had first be=
en incarcerated
in his room. He had thought t=
hat
nothing at all remained from his father's business, at least he had never t=
old
him anything different, and Gregor had never asked him about it anyway. The=
ir
business misfortune had reduced the family to a state of total despair, and
Gregor's only concern at that time had been to arrange things so that they
could all forget about it as quickly as possible. So then he started working especia=
lly
hard, with a fiery vigour that raised him from a junior salesman to a
travelling representative almost overnight, bringing with it the chance to =
earn
money in quite different ways.
Gregor converted his success at work straight into cash that he could
lay on the table at home for the benefit of his astonished and delighted
family. They had been good ti=
mes
and they had never come again, at least not with the same splendour, even
though Gregor had later earned so much that he was in a position to bear the
costs of the whole family, and did bear them. They had even got used to it, both
Gregor and the family, they took the money with gratitude and he was glad to
provide it, although there was no longer much warm affection given in retur=
n. Gregor
only remained close to his sister now.&nbs=
p;
Unlike him, she was very fond of music and a gifted and expressive
violinist, it was his secret plan to send her to the conservatory next year
even though it would cause great expense that would have to be made up for =
in
some other way. During Gregor=
's
short periods in town, conversation with his sister would often turn to the
conservatory but it was only ever mentioned as a lovely dream that could ne=
ver
be realised. Their parents di=
d not
like to hear this innocent talk, but Gregor thought about it quite hard and
decided he would let them know what he planned with a grand announcement of=
it
on Christmas day.
That was the sort of totally pointless thing t=
hat
went through his mind in his present state, pressed upright against the door
and listening. There were tim=
es
when he simply became too tired to continue listening, when his head would =
fall
wearily against the door and he would pull it up again with a start, as even
the slightest noise he caused would be heard next door and they would all go
silent. "What's that he's
doing now", his father would say after a while, clearly having gone ov=
er
to the door, and only then would the interrupted conversation slowly be tak=
en
up again.
When explaining things, his father repeated
himself several times, partly because it was a long time since he had been
occupied with these matters himself and partly because Gregor's mother did =
not understand
everything first time. From t=
hese
repeated explanations Gregor learned, to his pleasure, that despite all the=
ir
misfortunes there was still some money available from the old days. It was not a lot, but it had not b=
een
touched in the meantime and some interest had accumulated. Besides that, they had not been us=
ing up
all the money that Gregor had been bringing home every month, keeping only =
a little
for himself, so that that, too, had been accumulating. Behind the door, Gre=
gor
nodded with enthusiasm in his pleasure at this unexpected thrift and
caution. He could actually ha=
ve
used this surplus money to reduce his father's debt to his boss, and the day
when he could have freed himself from that job would have come much closer,=
but
now it was certainly better the way his father had done things.
This money, however, was certainly not enough =
to
enable the family to live off the interest; it was enough to maintain them =
for,
perhaps, one or two years, no more.
That's to say, it was money that should not really be touched but set
aside for emergencies; money to live on had to be earned. His father was healthy but old, an=
d lacking
in self confidence. During th=
e five
years that he had not been working - the first holiday in a life that had b=
een
full of strain and no success - he had put on a lot of weight and become ve=
ry
slow and clumsy. Would Gregor=
's
elderly mother now have to go and earn money? She suffered from asthma and =
it
was a strain for her just to move about the home, every other day would be
spent struggling for breath on the sofa by the open window. Would his sister have to go and ea=
rn
money? She was still a child of seventeen, her life up till then had been v=
ery
enviable, consisting of wearing nice clothes, sleeping late, helping out in=
the
business, joining in with a few modest pleasures and most of all playing th=
e violin. Whenever they began to talk of the=
need
to earn money, Gregor would always first let go of the door and then throw
himself onto the cool, leather sofa next to it, as he became quite hot with=
shame
and regret.
He would often lie there the whole night throu=
gh,
not sleeping a wink but scratching at the leather for hours on end. Or he might go to all the effort of
pushing a chair to the window, climbing up onto the sill and, propped up in=
the
chair, leaning on the window to stare out of it. He had used to feel a great sense =
of
freedom from doing this, but doing it now was obviously something more
remembered than experienced, =
as
what he actually saw in this way was becoming less distinct every day, even
things that were quite near; he had used to curse the ever-present view of =
the
hospital across the street, but now he could not see it at all, and if he h=
ad
not known that he lived in Charlottenstrasse, which was a quiet street desp=
ite being
in the middle of the city, he could have thought that he was looking out the
window at a barren waste where the grey sky and the grey earth mingled
inseparably. His observant si=
ster
only needed to notice the chair twice before she would always push it back =
to
its exact position by the window after she had tidied up the room, and even
left the inner pane of the window open from then on.
If Gregor had only been able to speak to his
sister and thank her for all that she had to do for him it would have been
easier for him to bear it; but as it was it caused him pain. His sister, naturally, tried as fa=
r as
possible to pretend there was nothing burdensome about it, and the longer it
went on, of course, the better she was able to do so, but as time went by
Gregor was also able to see through it all so much better. It had even become very unpleasant=
for
him, now, whenever she entered the room.&n=
bsp;
No sooner had she come in than she would quickly close the door as a=
precaution
so that no-one would have to suffer the view into Gregor's room, then she w=
ould
go straight to the window and pull it hurriedly open almost as if she were
suffocating. Even if it was c=
old,
she would stay at the window breathing deeply for a little while. She would alarm Gregor twice a day=
with
this running about and noise making; he would stay under the couch shivering
the whole while, knowing full well that she would certainly have liked to s=
pare
him this ordeal, but it was impossible for her to be in the same room with =
him
with the windows closed.
One day, about a month after Gregor's
transformation when his sister no longer had any particular reason to be
shocked at his appearance, she came into the room a little earlier than usu=
al
and found him still staring out the window, motionless, and just where he w=
ould
be most horrible. In itself, =
his
sister's not coming into the room would have been no surprise for Gregor as=
it
would have been difficult for her to immediately open the window while he w=
as
still there, but not only did she not come in, she went straight back and c=
losed
the door behind her, a stranger would have thought he had threatened her and
tried to bite her. Gregor went
straight to hide himself under the couch, of course, but he had to wait unt=
il
midday before his sister came back and she seemed much more uneasy than usu=
al. It made him realise that she still=
found
his appearance unbearable and would continue to do so, she probably even ha=
d to
overcome the urge to flee when she saw the little bit of him that protruded
from under the couch. One day=
, in
order to spare her even this sight, he spent four hours carrying the bedshe=
et
over to the couch on his back and arranged it so that he was completely cov=
ered
and his sister would not be able to see him even if she bent down. If she d=
id
not think this sheet was necessary then all she had to do was take it off
again, as it was clear enough that it was no pleasure for Gregor to cut him=
self
off so completely. She left t=
he sheet
where it was. Gregor even tho=
ught
he glimpsed a look of gratitude one time when he carefully looked out from
under the sheet to see how his sister liked the new arrangement.
For the first fourteen days, Gregor's parents
could not bring themselves to come into the room to see him. He would often hear them say how t=
hey
appreciated all the new work his sister was doing even though, before, they=
had
seen her as a girl who was somewhat useless and frequently been annoyed with
her. But now the two of them,
father and mother, would often both wait outside the door of Gregor's room
while his sister tidied up in there, and as soon as she went out again she
would have to tell them exactly how everything looked, what Gregor had eate=
n,
how he had behaved this time and whether, perhaps, any slight improvement c=
ould
be seen. His mother also wanted to go in and visit Gregor relatively soon b=
ut his
father and sister at first persuaded her against it. Gregor listened very closely to all
this, and approved fully. Lat=
er, though,
she had to be held back by force, which made her call out: "Let me go =
and
see Gregor, he is my unfortunate son! Can't you understand I have to see
him?", and Gregor would think to himself that maybe it would be better=
if
his mother came in, not every day of course, but one day a week, perhaps; s=
he
could understand everything much better than his sister who, for all her
courage, was still just a child after all, and really might not have had an=
adult's
appreciation of the burdensome job she had taken on.
Gregor's wish to see his mother was soon
realised. Out of consideratio=
n for
his parents, Gregor wanted to avoid being seen at the window during the day,
the few square meters of the floor did not give him much room to crawl abou=
t,
it was hard to just lie quietly through the night, his food soon stopped gi=
ving
him any pleasure at all, and so, to entertain himself, he got into the habi=
t of
crawling up and down the walls and ceiling. He was especially fond of hanging =
from
the ceiling; it was quite different from lying on the floor; he could breat=
he
more freely; his body had a light swing to it; and up there, relaxed and al=
most
happy, it might happen that he would surprise even himself by letting go of=
the
ceiling and landing on the floor with a crash. But now, of course, he had far bet=
ter
control of his body than before and, even with a fall as great as that, cau=
sed
himself no damage. Very soon =
his
sister noticed Gregor's new way of entertaining himself - he had, after all,
left traces of the adhesive from his feet as he crawled about - and got it =
into
her head to make it as easy as possible for him by removing the furniture t=
hat
got in his way, especially the chest of drawers and the desk. Now, this was not something that s=
he
would be able to do by herself; she did not dare to ask for help from her f=
ather;
the sixteen year old maid had carried on bravely since the cook had left but
she certainly would not have helped in this, she had even asked to be allow=
ed
to keep the kitchen locked at all times and never to have to open the door
unless it was especially important; so his sister had no choice but to choo=
se
some time when Gregor's father was not there and fetch his mother to help
her. As she approached the ro=
om,
Gregor could hear his mother express her joy, but once at the door she went
silent. First, of course, his=
sister
came in and looked round to see that everything in the room was alright; and
only then did she let her mother enter.&nb=
sp;
Gregor had hurriedly pulled the sheet down lower over the couch and =
put
more folds into it so that everything really looked as if it had just been
thrown down by chance. Gregor=
also
refrained, this time, from spying out from under the sheet; he gave up the
chance to see his mother until later and was simply glad that she had
come. "You can come in, =
he
can't be seen", said his sister, obviously leading her in by the
hand. The old chest of drawer=
s was
too heavy for a pair of feeble women to be heaving about, but Gregor listen=
ed
as they pushed it from its place, his sister always taking on the heaviest =
part
of the work for herself and ignoring her mother's warnings that she would
strain herself. This lasted a=
very
long time. After labouring at=
it
for fifteen minutes or more his mother said it would be better to leave the
chest where it was, for one thing it was too heavy for them to get the job
finished before Gregor's father got home and leaving it in the middle of the
room it would be in his way even more, and for another thing it wasn't even
sure that taking the furniture away would really be any help to him. She thought just the opposite; the=
sight
of the bare walls saddened her right to her heart; and why wouldn't Gregor =
feel
the same way about it, he'd been used to this furniture in his room for a l=
ong
time and it would make him feel abandoned to be in an empty room like
that. Then, quietly, almost
whispering as if wanting Gregor (whose whereabouts she did not know) to hear
not even the tone of her voice, as she was convinced that he did not unders=
tand
her words, she added "and by taking the furniture away, won't it seem =
like
we're showing that we've given up all hope of improvement and we're abandon=
ing
him to cope for himself? I think it'd be best to leave the room exactly the=
way
it was before so that when Gregor comes back to us again he'll find everyth=
ing
unchanged and he'll be able to forget the time in between all the easier&qu=
ot;.
Hearing these words from his mother made Grego=
r realise
that the lack of any direct human communication, along with the monotonous =
life
led by the family during these two months, must have made him confused - he
could think of no other way of explaining to himself why he had seriously
wanted his room emptied out. =
Had he
really wanted to transform his room into a cave, a warm room fitted out with
the nice furniture he had inherited? That would have let him crawl around
unimpeded in any direction, but it would also have let him quickly forget h=
is
past when he had still been human.
He had come very close to forgetting, and it had only been the voice=
of
his mother, unheard for so long, that had shaken him out of it. Nothing should be removed; everyth=
ing
had to stay; he could not do without the good influence the furniture had on
his condition; and if the furniture made it difficult for him to crawl about
mindlessly that was not a loss but a great advantage.
His sister, unfortunately, did not agree; she =
had
become used to the idea, not without reason, that she was Gregor's spokesma=
n to
his parents about the things that concerned him. This meant that his mother's advic=
e now
was sufficient reason for her to insist on removing not only the chest of
drawers and the desk, as she had thought at first, but all the furniture ap=
art
from the all-important couch. It
was more than childish perversity, of course, or the unexpected confidence =
she
had recently acquired, that made her insist; she had indeed noticed that Gr=
egor
needed a lot of room to crawl about in, whereas the furniture, as far as an=
yone
could see, was of no use to him at all.&nb=
sp;
Girls of that age, though, do become enthusiastic about things and f=
eel
they must get their way whenever they can.=
Perhaps this was what tempted Grete to make Gregor's situation seem =
even
more shocking than it was so that she could do even more for him. Grete would probably be the only o=
ne who
would dare enter a room dominated by Gregor crawling about the bare walls by
himself.
So she refused to let her mother dissuade
her. Gregor's mother already =
looked
uneasy in his room, she soon stopped speaking and helped Gregor's sister to=
get
the chest of drawers out with what strength she had. The chest of drawers was something=
that
Gregor could do without if he had to, but the writing desk had to stay. Har=
dly
had the two women pushed the chest of drawers, groaning, out of the room th=
an
Gregor poked his head out from under the couch to see what he could do about
it. He meant to be as careful=
and considerate
as he could, but, unfortunately, it was his mother who came back first while
Grete in the next room had her arms round the chest, pushing and pulling at=
it
from side to side by herself without, of course, moving it an inch. His mother was not used to the sig=
ht of
Gregor, he might have made her ill, so Gregor hurried backwards to the far =
end
of the couch. In his startlem=
ent,
though, he was not able to prevent the sheet at its front from moving a lit=
tle. It was enough to attract his mothe=
r's
attention. She stood very sti=
ll,
remained there a moment, and then went back out to Grete.
Gregor kept trying to assure himself that noth=
ing
unusual was happening, it was just a few pieces of furniture being moved af=
ter all,
but he soon had to admit that the women going to and fro, their little call=
s to
each other, the scraping of the furniture on the floor, all these things ma=
de
him feel as if he were being assailed from all sides. With his head and legs pulled in a=
gainst
him and his body pressed to the floor, he was forced to admit to himself th=
at
he could not stand all of this much longer. They were emptying his room out; t=
aking
away everything that was dear to him; they had already taken out the chest
containing his fretsaw and other tools; now they threatened to remove the
writing desk with its place clearly worn into the floor, the desk where he =
had
done his homework as a business trainee, at high school, even while he had =
been
at infant school - he really could not wait any longer to see whether the t=
wo
women's intentions were good. He
had nearly forgotten they were there anyway, as they were now too tired to =
say
anything while they worked and he could only hear their feet as they steppe=
d heavily
on the floor.
So, while the women were leant against the des=
k in
the other room catching their breath, he sallied out, changed direction four
times not knowing what he should save first before his attention was sudden=
ly
caught by the picture on the wall - which was already denuded of everything
else that had been on it - of the lady dressed in copious fur. He hurried up onto the picture and
pressed himself against its glass, it held him firmly and felt good on his =
hot belly. This picture at least, now totally
covered by Gregor, would certainly be taken away by no-one. He turned his head to face the doo=
r into
the living room so that he could watch the women when they came back.
They had not allowed themselves a long rest and
came back quite soon; Grete had put her arm around her mother and was nearl=
y carrying
her. "What shall we take=
now,
then?", said Grete and looked around.=
Her eyes met those of Gregor on the wall. Perhaps only because her mother was
there, she remained calm, bent her face to her so that she would not look r=
ound
and said, albeit hurriedly and with a tremor in her voice: "Come on, l=
et's
go back in the living room for a while?" Gregor could see what Grete had in=
mind,
she wanted to take her mother somewhere safe and then chase him down from t=
he
wall. Well, she could certain=
ly try
it! He sat unyielding on his picture.
He would rather jump at Grete's face.
But Grete's words had made her mother quite
worried, she stepped to one side, saw the enormous brown patch against the
flowers of the wallpaper, and before she even realised it was Gregor that s=
he
saw screamed: "Oh God, oh God!"&=
nbsp;
Arms outstretched, she fell onto the couch as if she had given up
everything and stayed there immobile. "Gregor!" shouted his siste=
r,
glowering at him and shaking her fist. That was the first word she had spo=
ken to
him directly since his transformation.&nbs=
p;
She ran into the other room to fetch some kind of smelling salts to
bring her mother out of her faint; Gregor wanted to help too - he could save
his picture later, although he stuck fast to the glass and had to pull hims=
elf
off by force; then he, too, ran into the next room as if he could advise his
sister like in the old days; but he had to just stand behind her doing noth=
ing;
she was looking into various bottles, he startled her when she turned round=
; a
bottle fell to the ground and broke; a splinter cut Gregor's face, some kin=
d of
caustic medicine splashed all over him; now, without delaying any longer, G=
rete
took hold of all the bottles she could and ran with them in to her mother; =
she
slammed the door shut with her foot.
So now Gregor was shut out from his mother, who, because of him, mig=
ht
be near to death; he could not open the door if he did not want to chase his
sister away, and she had to stay with his mother; there was nothing for him=
to
do but wait; and, oppressed with anxiety and self-reproach, he began to cra=
wl
about, he crawled over everything, walls, furniture, ceiling, and finally in
his confusion as the whole room began to spin around him he fell down into =
the
middle of the dinner table.
He lay there for a while, numb and immobile, a=
ll
around him it was quiet, maybe that was a good sign. Then there was someone at the door=
. The maid, of course, had locked he=
rself
in her kitchen so that Grete would have to go and answer it. His father had arrived home. "What's happened?" were =
his
first words; Grete's appearance must have made everything clear to him. She answered him with subdued voic=
e, and
openly pressed her face into his chest: "Mother's fainted, but she's
better now. Gregor got
out." "Just as I ex=
pected",
said his father, "just as I always said, but you women wouldn't listen,
would you." It was clear=
to
Gregor that Grete had not said enough and that his father took it to mean t=
hat
something bad had happened, that he was responsible for some act of violenc=
e. That
meant Gregor would now have to try to calm his father, as he did not have t=
he
time to explain things to him even if that had been possible. So he fled to the door of his room=
and
pressed himself against it so that his father, when he came in from the hal=
l,
could see straight away that Gregor had the best intentions and would go ba=
ck
into his room without delay, that it would not be necessary to drive him ba=
ck
but that they had only to open the door and he would disappear.
His father, though, was not in the mood to not=
ice
subtleties like that; "Ah!", he shouted as he came in, sounding a=
s if
he were both angry and glad at the same time. Gregor drew his head back from the=
door
and lifted it towards his father.
He really had not imagined his father the way he stood there now; of
late, with his new habit of crawling about, he had neglected to pay attenti=
on
to what was going on the rest of the flat the way he had done before. He really ought to have expected t=
hings
to have changed, but still, still, was that really his father? The same tir=
ed
man as used to be laying there entombed in his bed when Gregor came back fr=
om
his business trips, who would receive him sitting in the armchair in his ni=
ghtgown
when he came back in the evenings; who was hardly even able to stand up but=
, as
a sign of his pleasure, would just raise his arms and who, on the couple of
times a year when they went for a walk together on a Sunday or public holid=
ay
wrapped up tightly in his overcoat between Gregor and his mother, would alw=
ays
labour his way forward a little more slowly than them, who were already wal=
king
slowly for his sake; who would place his stick down carefully and, if he wa=
nted
to say something would invariably stop and gather his companions around
him. He was standing up strai=
ght
enough now; dressed in a smart blue uniform with gold buttons, the sort wor=
n by
the employees at the banking institute; above the high, stiff collar of the
coat his strong double-chin emerged; under the bushy eyebrows, his piercing,
dark eyes looked out fresh and alert; his normally unkempt white hair was
combed down painfully close to his scalp.&=
nbsp;
He took his cap, with its gold monogram from, probably, some bank, a=
nd
threw it in an arc right across the room onto the sofa, put his hands in his
trouser pockets, pushing back the bottom of his long uniform coat, and, with
look of determination, walked towards Gregor. He probably did not even know hims=
elf
what he had in mind, but nonetheless lifted his feet unusually high. Gregor was amazed at the enormous =
size
of the soles of his boots, but wasted no time with that - he knew full well,
right from the first day of his new life, that his father thought it necess=
ary
to always be extremely strict with him.&nb=
sp;
And so he ran up to his father, stopped when his father stopped,
scurried forwards again when he moved, even slightly. In this way they went round the ro=
om
several times without anything decisive happening, without even giving the =
impression
of a chase as everything went so slowly.&n=
bsp;
Gregor remained all this time on the floor, largely because he feared
his father might see it as especially provoking if he fled onto the wall or=
ceiling. Whatever he did, Gregor had to adm=
it
that he certainly would not be able to keep up this running about for long,=
as
for each step his father took he had to carry out countless movements. He
became noticeably short of breath, even in his earlier life his lungs had n=
ot
been very reliable. Now, as he
lurched about in his efforts to muster all the strength he could for runnin=
g he
could hardly keep his eyes open; his thoughts became too slow for him to th=
ink
of any other way of saving himself than running; he almost forgot that the
walls were there for him to use although, here, they were concealed behind
carefully carved furniture full of notches and protrusions - then, right be=
side
him, lightly tossed, something flew down and rolled in front of him. It was an apple; then another one =
immediately
flew at him; Gregor froze in shock; there was no longer any point in runnin=
g as
his father had decided to bombard him.&nbs=
p;
He had filled his pockets with fruit from the bowl on the sideboard =
and now,
without even taking the time for careful aim, threw one apple after
another. These little, red ap=
ples
rolled about on the floor, knocking into each other as if they had electric
motors. An apple thrown witho=
ut
much force glanced against Gregor's back and slid off without doing any
harm. Another one however,
immediately following it, hit squarely and lodged in his back; Gregor wante=
d to
drag himself away, as if he could remove the surprising, the incredible pai=
n by
changing his position; but he felt as if nailed to the spot and spread hims=
elf
out, all his senses in confusion.
The last thing he saw was the door of his room being pulled open, his
sister was screaming, his mother ran out in front of her in her blouse (as =
his sister
had taken off some of her clothes after she had fainted to make it easier f=
or
her to breathe), she ran to his father, her skirts unfastened and sliding o=
ne
after another to the ground, stumbling over the skirts she pushed herself to
his father, her arms around him, uniting herself with him totally - now Gre=
gor
lost his ability to see anything - her hands behind his father's head beggi=
ng him
to spare Gregor's life.
=
No-one
dared to remove the apple lodged in Gregor's flesh, so it remained there as=
a
visible reminder of his injury. He
had suffered it there for more than a month, and his condition seemed serio=
us enough
to remind even his father that Gregor, despite his current sad and revolting
form, was a family member who could not be treated as an enemy. On the contrary, as a family there=
was a
duty to swallow any revulsion for him and to be patient, just to be patient=
.
Because of his injuries, Gregor had lost much =
of
his mobility - probably permanently.
He had been reduced to the condition of an ancient invalid and it to=
ok
him long, long minutes to crawl across his room - crawling over the ceiling=
was
out of the question - but this deterioration in his condition was fully (in=
his
opinion) made up for by the door to the living room being left open every
evening. He got into the habi=
t of
closely watching it for one or two hours before it was opened and then, lyi=
ng
in the darkness of his room where he could not be seen from the living room=
, he
could watch the family in the light of the dinner table and listen to their=
conversation
- with everyone's permission, in a way, and thus quite differently from bef=
ore.
They no longer held the lively conversations of
earlier times, of course, the ones that Gregor always thought about with
longing when he was tired and getting into the damp bed in some small hotel
room. All of them were usuall=
y very
quiet nowadays. Soon after di=
nner, his
father would go to sleep in his chair; his mother and sister would urge each
other to be quiet; his mother, bent deeply under the lamp, would sew fancy
underwear for a fashion shop; his sister, who had taken a sales job, learned
shorthand and French in the evenings so that she might be able to get a bet=
ter
position later on. Sometimes his father would wake up and say to Gregor's
mother "you're doing so much sewing again today!", as if he did n=
ot
know that he had been dozing - and then he would go back to sleep again whi=
le
mother and sister would exchange a tired grin.
With a kind of stubbornness, Gregor's father
refused to take his uniform off even at home; while his nightgown hung unus=
ed
on its peg Gregor's father would slumber where he was, fully dressed, as if=
always
ready to serve and expecting to hear the voice of his superior even here. The uniform had not been new to st=
art
with, but as a result of this it slowly became even shabbier despite the ef=
forts
of Gregor's mother and sister to look after it. Gregor would often spend the whole
evening looking at all the stains on this coat, with its gold buttons always
kept polished and shiny, while the old man in it would sleep, highly
uncomfortable but peaceful.
As soon as it struck ten, Gregor's mother would
speak gently to his father to wake him and try to persuade him to go to bed=
, as
he couldn't sleep properly where he was and he really had to get his sleep =
if
he was to be up at six to get to work.&nbs=
p;
But since he had been in work he had become more obstinate and would
always insist on staying longer at the table, even though he regularly fell
asleep and it was then harder than ever to persuade him to exchange the cha=
ir
for his bed. Then, however mu=
ch
mother and sister would importune him with little reproaches and warnings he
would keep slowly shaking his head for a quarter of an hour with his eyes c=
losed
and refusing to get up. Grego=
r's
mother would tug at his sleeve, whisper endearments into his ear, Gregor's
sister would leave her work to help her mother, but nothing would have any
effect on him. He would just =
sink
deeper into his chair. Only w=
hen
the two women took him under the arms he would abruptly open his eyes, look=
at
them one after the other and say: "What a life! This is what peace I g=
et
in my old age!" And supp=
orted
by the two women he would lift himself up carefully as if he were carrying =
the
greatest load himself, let the women take him to the door, send them off and
carry on by himself while Gregor's mother would throw down her needle and h=
is
sister her pen so that they could run after his father and continue being of
help to him.
Who, in this tired and overworked family, would
have had time to give more attention to Gregor than was absolutely necessar=
y?
The household budget became even smaller; so now the maid was dismissed; an
enormous, thick-boned charwoman with white hair that flapped around her head
came every morning and evening to do the heaviest work; everything else was
looked after by Gregor's mother on top of the large amount of sewing work s=
he
did. Gregor even learned, lis=
tening
to the evening conversation about what price they had hoped for, that sever=
al
items of jewellery belonging to the family had been sold, even though both
mother and sister had been very fond of wearing them at functions and
celebrations. But the loudest=
complaint
was that although the flat was much too big for their present circumstances,
they could not move out of it, there was no imaginable way of transferring
Gregor to the new address. He=
could
see quite well, though, that there were more reasons than consideration for=
him
that made it difficult for them to move, it would have been quite easy to
transport him in any suitable crate with a few air holes in it; the main th=
ing
holding the family back from their decision to move was much more to do with
their total despair, and the thought that they had been struck with a
misfortune unlike anything experienced by anyone else they knew or were rel=
ated
to. They carried out absolute=
ly
everything that the world expects from poor people, Gregor's father brought
bank employees their breakfast, his mother sacrificed herself by washing
clothes for strangers, his sister ran back and forth behind her desk at the=
behest
of the customers, but they just did not have the strength to do any more. And the injury in Gregor's back be=
gan to
hurt as much as when it was new.
After they had come back from taking his father to bed Gregor's moth=
er
and sister would now leave their work where it was and sit close together,
cheek to cheek; his mother would point to Gregor's room and say "Close
that door, Grete", and then, when he was in the dark again, they would=
sit
in the next room and their tears would mingle, or they would simply sit the=
re
staring dry-eyed at the table.
Gregor hardly slept at all, either night or
day. Sometimes he would think=
of
taking over the family's affairs, just like before, the next time the door =
was
opened; he had long forgotten about his boss and the chief clerk, but they
would appear again in his thoughts, the salesmen and the apprentices, that
stupid teaboy, two or three friends from other businesses, one of the
chambermaids from a provincial hotel, a tender memory that appeared and
disappeared again, a cashier from a hat shop for whom his attention had bee=
n serious
but too slow, - all of them appeared to him, mixed together with strangers =
and
others he had forgotten, but instead of helping him and his family they were
all of them inaccessible, and he was glad when they disappeared. Other times he was not at all in t=
he mood
to look after his family, he was filled with simple rage about the lack of
attention he was shown, and although he could think of nothing he would have
wanted, he made plans of how he could get into the pantry where he could ta=
ke
all the things he was entitled to, even if he was not hungry. Gregor's sister no longer thought =
about how
she could please him but would hurriedly push some food or other into his r=
oom
with her foot before she rushed out to work in the morning and at midday, a=
nd
in the evening she would sweep it away again with the broom, indifferent as=
to
whether it had been eaten or - more often than not - had been left totally
untouched. She still cleared =
up the
room in the evening, but now she could not have been any quicker about it.<=
span
style=3D'mso-spacerun:yes'> Smears of dirt were left on the wa=
lls,
here and there were little balls of dust and filth. At first, Gregor went into one of =
the
worst of these places when his sister arrived as a reproach to her, but he
could have stayed there for weeks without his sister doing anything about i=
t;
she could see the dirt as well as he could but she had simply decided to le=
ave
him to it. At the same time she became touchy in a way that was quite new f=
or her
and which everyone in the family understood - cleaning up Gregor's room was=
for
her and her alone. Gregor's m=
other
did once thoroughly clean his room, and needed to use several bucketfuls of=
water
to do it - although that much dampness also made Gregor ill and he lay flat=
on
the couch, bitter and immobile. But
his mother was to be punished still more for what she had done, as hardly h=
ad his
sister arrived home in the evening than she noticed the change in Gregor's =
room
and, highly aggrieved, ran back into the living room where, despite her mot=
hers
raised and imploring hands, she broke into convulsive tears. Her father, of course, was startle=
d out
of his chair and the two parents looked on astonished and helpless; then th=
ey,
too, became agitated; Gregor's father, standing to the right of his mother,
accused her of not leaving the cleaning of Gregor's room to his sister; from
her left, Gregor's sister screamed at her that she was never to clean Grego=
r's
room again; while his mother tried to draw his father, who was beside himse=
lf with
anger, into the bedroom; his sister, quaking with tears, thumped on the tab=
le
with her small fists; and Gregor hissed in anger that no-one had even thoug=
ht
of closing the door to save him the sight of this and all its noise.
Gregor's sister was exhausted from going out to
work, and looking after Gregor as she had done before was even more work for
her, but even so his mother ought certainly not to have taken her place. Gr=
egor,
on the other hand, ought not to be neglected. Now, though, the charwoman was
here. This elderly widow, wit=
h a
robust bone structure that made her able to withstand the hardest of things=
in her
long life, wasn't really repelled by Gregor. Just by chance one day, rather tha=
n any
real curiosity, she opened the door to Gregor's room and found herself face=
to
face with him. He was taken t=
otally
by surprise, no-one was chasing him but he began to rush to and fro while s=
he
just stood there in amazement with her hands crossed in front of her. From then on she never failed to o=
pen
the door slightly every evening and morning and look briefly in on him. At first she would call to him as =
she
did so with words that she probably considered friendly, such as "come=
on
then, you old dung-beetle!", or "look at the old dung-beetle
there!" Gregor never res=
ponded
to being spoken to in that way, but just remained where he was without movi=
ng
as if the door had never even been opened.=
If only they had told this charwoman to clean up his room every day =
instead
of letting her disturb him for no reason whenever she felt like it! One day,
early in the morning while a heavy rain struck the windowpanes, perhaps
indicating that spring was coming, she began to speak to him in that way on=
ce
again. Gregor was so resentfu=
l of
it that he started to move toward her, he was slow and infirm, but it was l=
ike
a kind of attack. Instead of =
being
afraid, the charwoman just lifted up one of the chairs from near the door a=
nd
stood there with her mouth open, clearly intending not to close her mouth u=
ntil
the chair in her hand had been slammed down into Gregor's back. "Aren't
you coming any closer, then?", she asked when Gregor turned round agai=
n,
and she calmly put the chair back in the corner.
Gregor had almost entirely stopped eating. Only if he happened to find himsel=
f next
to the food that had been prepared for him he might take some of it into his
mouth to play with it, leave it there a few hours and then, more often than
not, spit it out again. At fi=
rst he
thought it was distress at the state of his room that stopped him eating, b=
ut
he had soon got used to the changes made there. They had got into the habit of put=
ting
things into this room that they had no room for anywhere else, and there we=
re
now many such things as one of the rooms in the flat had been rented out to=
three
gentlemen. These earnest gent=
lemen
- all three of them had full beards, as Gregor learned peering through the
crack in the door one day - were painfully insistent on things' being
tidy. This meant not only in =
their
own room but, since they had taken a room in this establishment, in the ent=
ire
flat and especially in the kitchen.
Unnecessary clutter was something they could not tolerate, especiall=
y if
it was dirty. They had moreov=
er
brought most of their own furnishings and equipment with them. For this reason, many things had b=
ecome
superfluous which, although they could not be sold, the family did not wish=
to
discard. All these things fou=
nd their
way into Gregor's room. The
dustbins from the kitchen found their way in there too. The charwoman was always in a hurr=
y, and
anything she couldn't use for the time being she would just chuck in there.=
He, fortunately, would usually see=
no
more than the object and the hand that held it. The woman most likely meant to fet=
ch the
things back out again when she had time and the opportunity, or to throw
everything out in one go, but what actually happened was that they were left
where they landed when they had first been thrown unless Gregor made his way
through the junk and moved it somewhere else. At first he moved it because, with=
no
other room free where he could crawl about, he was forced to, but later on =
he
came to enjoy it although moving about in the way left him sad and tired to=
death
and he would remain immobile for hours afterwards.
The gentlemen who rented the room would someti=
mes
take their evening meal at home in the living room that was used by everyon=
e,
and so the door to this room was often kept closed in the evening. But Gregor found it easy to give up
having the door open, he had, after all, often failed to make use of it whe=
n it
was open and, without the family having noticed it, lain in his room in its
darkest corner. One time, tho=
ugh,
the charwoman left the door to the living room slightly open, and it remain=
ed
open when the gentlemen who rented the room came in in the evening and the
light was put on. They sat up at the table where, formerly, Gregor had taken
his meals with his father and mother, they unfolded the serviettes and pick=
ed up
their knives and forks. Grego=
r's
mother immediately appeared in the doorway with a dish of meat and soon beh=
ind
her came his sister with a dish piled high with potatoes. The food was steaming, and filled =
the
room with its smell. The gent=
lemen
bent over the dishes set in front of them as if they wanted to test the food
before eating it, and the gentleman in the middle, who seemed to count as an
authority for the other two, did indeed cut off a piece of meat while it was
still in its dish, clearly wishing to establish whether it was sufficiently
cooked or whether it should be sent back to the kitchen. It was to his satisfaction, and Gr=
egor's
mother and sister, who had been looking on anxiously, began to breathe agai=
n and
smiled.
The family themselves ate in the kitchen. Nonetheless, Gregor's father came =
into
the living room before he went into the kitchen, bowed once with his cap in=
his
hand and did his round of the table. The gentlemen stood as one, and mumbled
something into their beards. =
Then,
once they were alone, they ate in near perfect silence. It seemed remarkable to Gregor that
above all the various noises of eating their chewing teeth could still be
heard, as if they had wanted to Show Gregor that you need teeth in order to=
eat
and it was not possible to perform anything with jaws that are toothless ho=
wever
nice they might be. "I'd=
like
to eat something", said Gregor anxiously, "but not anything like
they're eating. They do feed
themselves. And here I am,
dying!"
Throughout all this time, Gregor could not
remember having heard the violin being played, but this evening it began to=
be
heard from the kitchen. The t=
hree
gentlemen had already finished their meal, the one in the middle had produc=
ed a
newspaper, given a page to each of the others, and now they leant back in t=
heir
chairs reading them and smoking.
When the violin began playing they became attentive, stood up and we=
nt
on tip-toe over to the door of the hallway where they stood pressed against
each other. Someone must have=
heard
them in the kitchen, as Gregor's father called out: "Is the playing
perhaps unpleasant for the gentlemen? We can stop it straight away." "On the contrary", said =
the
middle gentleman, "would the young lady not like to come in and play f=
or
us here in the room, where it is, after all, much more cosy and
comfortable?" "Oh y=
es,
we'd love to", called back Gregor's father as if he had been the violin
player himself. The gentlemen
stepped back into the room and waited. Gregor's father soon appeared with t=
he
music stand, his mother with the music and his sister with the violin. She calmly prepared everything for=
her
to begin playing; his parents, who had never rented a room out before and
therefore showed an exaggerated courtesy towards the three gentlemen, did n=
ot
even dare to sit on their own chairs; his father leant against the door with
his right hand pushed in between two buttons on his uniform coat; his mothe=
r, though,
was offered a seat by one of the gentlemen and sat - leaving the chair where
the gentleman happened to have placed it - out of the way in a corner.
His sister began to play; father and mother pa=
id
close attention, one on each side, to the movements of her hands. Drawn in by the playing, Gregor had
dared to come forward a little and already had his head in the living
room. Before, he had taken gr=
eat
pride in how considerate he was but now it hardly occurred to him that he h=
ad become
so thoughtless about the others.
What's more, there was now all the more reason to keep himself hidde=
n as
he was covered in the dust that lay everywhere in his room and flew up at t=
he
slightest movement; he carried threads, hairs, and remains of food about on=
his
back and sides; he was much too indifferent to everything now to lay on his
back and wipe himself on the carpet like he had used to do several times a
day. And despite this conditi=
on, he
was not too shy to move forward a little onto the immaculate floor of the
living room.
No-one noticed him, though. The family was totally preoccupied=
with the
violin playing; at first, the three gentlemen had put their hands in their
pockets and come up far too close behind the music stand to look at all the
notes being played, and they must have disturbed Gregor's sister, but soon,=
in
contrast with the family, they
withdrew back to the window with their heads sunk and talking to each
other at half volume, and they stayed by the window while Gregor's father
observed them anxiously. It r=
eally
now seemed very obvious that they had expected to hear some beautiful or en=
tertaining
violin playing but had been disappointed, that they had had enough of the w=
hole
performance and it was only now out of politeness that they allowed their p=
eace
to be disturbed. It was espec=
ially
unnerving, the way they all blew the smoke from their cigarettes upwards fr=
om
their mouth and noses. Yet Gr=
egor's
sister was playing so beautifully.
Her face was leant to one side, following the lines of music with a
careful and melancholy expression.
Gregor crawled a little further forward, keeping his head close to t=
he
ground so that he could meet her eyes if the chance came. Was he an animal if music could
captivate him so? It seemed to him that he was being shown the way to the
unknown nourishment he had been yearning for. He was determined to make his way
forward to his sister and tug at her skirt to show her she might come into =
his
room with her violin, as no-one appreciated her playing here as much as he
would. He never wanted to let=
her
out of his room, not while he lived, anyway; his shocking appearance should,
for once, be of some use to him; he wanted to be at every door of his room =
at
once to hiss and spit at the attackers; his sister should not be forced to =
stay
with him, though, but stay of her own free will; she would sit beside him on
the couch with her ear bent down to him while he told her how he had always
intended to send her to the conservatory, how he would have told everyone a=
bout
it last Christmas - had Christmas really come and gone already? - if this
misfortune hadn't got in the way, and refuse to let anyone dissuade him from
it. On hearing all this, his =
sister
would break out in tears of emotion, and Gregor would climb up to her shoul=
der and
kiss her neck, which, since she had been going out to work, she had kept fr=
ee
without any necklace or collar.
"Mr. Samsa!", shouted the middle
gentleman to Gregor's father, pointing, without wasting any more words, with
his forefinger at Gregor as he slowly moved forward. The violin went silent, the middle=
of
the three gentlemen first smiled at his two friends, shaking his head, and =
then
looked back at Gregor. His fa=
ther
seemed to think it more important to calm the three gentlemen before driving
Gregor out, even though they were not at all upset and seemed to think Greg=
or
was more entertaining that the violin playing had been. He rushed up to them with his arms
spread out and attempted to drive them back into their room at the same tim=
e as
trying to block their view of Gregor with his body. Now they did become a little annoy=
ed,
and it was not clear whether it was his father's behaviour that annoyed the=
m or
the dawning realisation that they had had a neighbour like Gregor in the ne=
xt
room without knowing it. They=
asked
Gregor's father for explanations, raised their arms like he had, tugged
excitedly at their beards and moved back towards their room only very
slowly. Meanwhile Gregor's si=
ster had
overcome the despair she had fallen into when her playing was suddenly
interrupted. She had let her =
hands
drop and let violin and bow hang limply for a while but continued to look at
the music as if still playing, but then she suddenly pulled herself togethe=
r,
lay the instrument on her mother's lap who still sat laboriously struggling=
for
breath where she was, and ran into the next room which, under pressure from=
her
father, the three gentlemen were more quickly moving toward. Under his sister's experienced han=
d, the
pillows and covers on the beds flew up and were put into order and she had
already finished making the beds and slipped out again before the three
gentlemen had reached the room.
Gregor's father seemed so obsessed with what he was doing that he fo=
rgot
all the respect he owed to his tenants.&nb=
sp;
He urged them and pressed them until, when he was already at the doo=
r of
the room, the middle of the three gentlemen shouted like thunder and stamped
his foot and thereby brought Gregor's father to a halt. "I declare here and now"=
, he
said, raising his hand and glancing at Gregor's mother and sister to gain t=
heir
attention too, "that with regard to the repugnant conditions that prev=
ail
in this flat and with this family" - here he looked briefly but decisi=
vely
at the floor - "I give immediate notice on my room. For the days that I have been livi=
ng here
I will, of course, pay nothing at all, on the contrary I will consider whet=
her
to proceed with some kind of action for damages from you, and believe me it
would be very easy to set out the grounds for such an action." He was silent and looked straight =
ahead
as if waiting for something. =
And
indeed, his two friends joined in with the words: "And we also give
immediate notice." With =
that,
he took hold of the door handle and slammed the door.
Gregor's father staggered back to his seat,
feeling his way with his hands, and fell into it; it looked as if he was
stretching himself out for his usual evening nap but from the uncontrolled =
way
his head kept nodding it could be seen that he was not sleeping at all. Thr=
oughout
all this, Gregor had lain still where the three gentlemen had first seen
him. His disappointment at the
failure of his plan, and perhaps also because he was weak from hunger, made=
it
impossible for him to move. H=
e was
sure that everyone would turn on him any moment, and he waited. He was not even startled out of th=
is
state when the violin on his mother's lap fell from her trembling fingers a=
nd
landed loudly on the floor.
"Father, Mother", said his sister,
hitting the table with her hand as introduction, "we can't carry on li=
ke
this. Maybe you can't see it,=
but I
can. I don't want to call this
monster my brother, all I can say is: we have to try and get rid of it. We've done all that's humanly poss=
ible
to look after it and be patient, I don't think anyone could accuse us of do=
ing
anything wrong."
"She's absolutely right", said Grego=
r's
father to himself. His mother=
, who
still had not had time to catch her breath, began to cough dully, her hand =
held
out in front of her and a deranged expression in her eyes.
Gregor's sister rushed to his mother and put h=
er
hand on her forehead. Her wor=
ds
seemed to give Gregor's father some more definite ideas. He sat upright, played with his un=
iform
cap between the plates left by the three gentlemen after their meal, and oc=
casionally
looked down at Gregor as he lay there immobile.
"We have to try and get rid of it", =
said
Gregor's sister, now speaking only to her father, as her mother was too
occupied with coughing to listen, "it'll be the death of both of you, I
can see it coming. We can't a=
ll
work as hard as we have to and then come home to be tortured like this, we
can't endure it. I can't endu=
re it
any more." And she broke=
out
so heavily in tears that they flowed down the face of her mother, and she w=
iped
them away with mechanical hand movements.
"My child", said her father with
sympathy and obvious understanding, "what are we to do?"
His sister just shrugged her shoulders as a si=
gn
of the helplessness and tears that had taken hold of her, displacing her
earlier certainty.
"If he could just understand us", sa=
id
his father almost as a question; his sister shook her hand vigorously throu=
gh
her tears as a sign that of that there was no question.
"If he could just understand us",
repeated Gregor's father, closing his eyes in acceptance of his sister's
certainty that that was quite impossible, "then perhaps we could come =
to
some kind of arrangement with him.
But as it is ..."
"It's got to go", shouted his sister,
"that's the only way, Father. You've got to get rid of the idea that
that's Gregor. We've only har=
med
ourselves by believing it for so long.&nbs=
p;
How can that be Gregor? If it were Gregor he would have seen long ago
that it's not possible for human beings to live with an animal like that an=
d he
would have gone of his own free will.
We wouldn't have a brother any more, then, but we could carry on with
our lives and remember him with respect.&n=
bsp;
As it is this animal is persecuting us, it's driven out our tenants,=
it
obviously wants to take over the whole flat and force us to sleep on the
streets. Father, look, just l=
ook",
she suddenly screamed, "he's starting again!" In her alarm, which was tota=
lly
beyond Gregor's comprehension, his sister even abandoned his mother as she
pushed herself vigorously out of her chair as if more willing to sacrifice =
her
own mother than stay anywhere near Gregor.=
She rushed over to behind her father, who had become excited merely
because she was and stood up half raising his hands in front of Gregor's si=
ster
as if to protect her.
But Gregor had had no intention of frightening
anyone, least of all his sister.
All he had done was begin to turn round so that he could go back into
his room, although that was in itself quite startling as his pain-wracked
condition meant that turning round required a great deal of effort and he w=
as
using his head to help himself do it, repeatedly raising it and striking it
against the floor. He stopped=
and
looked round. They seemed to =
have
realised his good intention and had only been alarmed briefly. Now they all looked at him in unha=
ppy
silence. His mother lay in her
chair with her legs stretched out and pressed against each other, her eyes =
nearly
closed with exhaustion; his sister sat next to his father with her arms aro=
und
his neck.
"Maybe now they'll let me turn round"=
;,
thought Gregor and went back to work.
He could not help panting loudly with the effort and had sometimes to
stop and take a rest. No-one =
was
making him rush any more, everything was left up to him. As soon as he had finally finished
turning round he began to move straight ahead. He was amazed at the great distanc=
e that
separated him from his room, and could not understand how he had covered th=
at
distance in his weak state a little while before and almost without noticing
it. He concentrated on crawli=
ng as
fast as he could and hardly noticed that there was not a word, not any cry,
from his family to distract him. He did not turn his head until he had reac=
hed
the doorway. He did not turn =
it all
the way round as he felt his neck becoming stiff, but it was nonetheless en=
ough
to see that nothing behind him had changed, only his sister had stood up. With his last glance he saw that h=
is
mother had now fallen completely asleep.
He was hardly inside his room before the door =
was
hurriedly shut, bolted and locked.
The sudden noise behind Gregor so startled him that his little legs
collapsed under him. It was h=
is
sister who had been in so much of a rush.&=
nbsp;
She had been standing there waiting and sprung forward lightly, Greg=
or
had not heard her coming at all, and as she turned the key in the lock she =
said
loudly to her parents "At last!".
"What now, then?", Gregor asked hims= elf as he looked round in the darkness. He soon made the discovery that he could no longer move at all. This was no surprise to him, it se= emed rather that being able to actually move around on those spindly little legs until then was unnatural. He = also felt relatively comfortable. = It is true that his entire body was aching, but the pain seemed to be slowly gett= ing weaker and weaker and would finally disappear altogether. He could already hardly feel the decayed apple in his back or the inflamed area around it, w= hich was entirely covered in white dust. He thought back of his family with emot= ion and love. If it was possible,= he felt that he must go away even more strongly than his sister. He remained in this state of empty= and peaceful rumination until he heard the clock tower strike three in the morning. He watched as it slo= wly began to get light everywhere outside the window too. Then, without his willing it, his = head sank down completely, and his last breath flowed weakly from his nostrils.<= o:p>
When the cleaner came in early in the morning -
they'd often asked her not to keep slamming the doors but with her strength=
and
in her hurry she still did, so that everyone in the flat knew when she'd ar=
rived
and from then on it was impossible to sleep in peace - she made her usual b=
rief
look in on Gregor and at first found nothing special. She thought he was laying there so=
still
on purpose, playing the martyr; she attributed all possible understanding t=
o him. She happened to be holding the long
broom in her hand, so she tried to tickle Gregor with it from the doorway.<=
span
style=3D'mso-spacerun:yes'> When she had no success with that =
she
tried to make a nuisance of herself and poked at him a little, and only when
she found she could shove him across the floor with no resistance at all did
she start to pay attention. She soon realised what had really happened, ope=
ned
her eyes wide, whistled to herself, but did not waste time to yank open the
bedroom doors and shout loudly into the darkness of the bedrooms: "Come
and 'ave a look at this, it's dead, just lying there, stone dead!"
Mr. and
Mrs. Samsa sat upright there in their marriage bed and had to make an
effort to get over the shock caused by the cleaner before they could grasp =
what
she was saying. But then, eac=
h from
his own side, they hurried out of bed.&nbs=
p;
Mr. Samsa threw the blanket over his shoulders, Mrs. Samsa just came out in her
nightdress; and that is how they went into Gregor's room. On the way they opened the door to=
the
living room where Grete had been sleeping since the three gentlemen had mov=
ed
in; she was fully dressed as if she had never been asleep, and the paleness=
of
her face seemed to confirm this. "Dead?", asked Mrs. Samsa, looking at the charwom=
an
enquiringly, even though she could have checked for herself and could have
known it even without checking.
"That's what I said",&nbs=
p;
replied the cleaner, and to prove it she gave Gregor's body another
shove with the broom, sending it sideways across the floor. Mrs. Samsa made a movement as if s=
he
wanted to hold back the broom, but did not complete it. "Now then", said Mr. Samsa, "let's give thanks=
to
God for that". He crossed himself, and the three women followed his ex=
ample. Grete, who had not taken her eyes =
from
the corpse, said: "Just look how thin he was. He didn't eat anything for so long=
. The
food came out again just the same as when it went in". Gregor's body w=
as
indeed completely dried up and flat, they had not seen it until then, but n=
ow
he was not lifted up on his little legs, nor did he do anything to make them
look away.
"Grete, come with us in here for a little
while", said Mrs. Samsa =
with a
pained smile, and Grete followed her parents into the bedroom but not witho=
ut
looking back at the body. The
cleaner shut the door and opened the window wide. Although it was still early in the=
morning
the fresh air had something of warmth mixed in with it. It was already the end of March, a=
fter
all.
The three gentlemen stepped out of their room =
and
looked round in amazement for their breakfasts; they had been forgotten about. &qu=
ot;Where
is our breakfast?", the middle gentleman asked the cleaner irritably.<=
span
style=3D'mso-spacerun:yes'> She just put her finger on her lip=
s and
made a quick and silent sign to the men that they might like to come into
Gregor's room. They did so, a=
nd
stood around Gregor's corpse with their hands in the pockets of their well-=
worn
coats. It was now quite light in the room.
Then the door of the bedroom opened and Mr. Samsa appeared in his uniform =
with
his wife on one arm and his daughter on the other. All of them had been crying a litt=
le;
Grete now and then pressed her face against her father's arm.
"Leave my home. Now!", said Mr. Samsa, indicating the door and=
without
letting the women from him.
"What do you mean?", asked the middle of the three gentlem=
en
somewhat disconcerted, and he smiled sweetly. The other two held their hands beh=
ind
their backs and continually rubbed them together in gleeful anticipation of=
a
loud quarrel which could only end in their favour. "I mean just what I said"=
;,
answered Mr. Samsa, and, with=
his
two companions, went in a straight line towards the man. At first, he stood there still, lo=
oking
at the ground as if the contents of his head were rearranging themselves in=
to
new positions. "Alright,=
we'll
go then", he said, and looked up at&n=
bsp;
Mr. Samsa as if he had been suddenly overcome with humility and want=
ed
permission again from Mr. Samsa for his decision. Mr. Samsa merely opened his eyes w=
ide and
briefly nodded to him several times.
At that, and without delay, the man actually did take long strides i=
nto
the front hallway; his two friends had stopped rubbing their hands some tim=
e before
and had been listening to what was being said. Now they jumped off after their fr=
iend
as if taken with a sudden fear that Mr. Samsa might go into the hallway in
front of them and break the connection with their leader. Once there, all three took their h=
ats from
the stand, took their sticks from the holder, bowed without a word and left=
the
premises. Mr. Samsa and the t=
wo
women followed them out onto the landing; but they had had no reason to
mistrust the men' intentions and as they leaned over the landing they saw h=
ow the
three gentlemen made slow but steady progress down the many steps. As they turned the corner on each =
floor
they disappeared and would reappear a few moments later; the further down t=
hey
went, the more that the Samsa family lost interest in them; when a butcher'=
s boy,
proud of posture with his tray on his head, passed them on his way up and c=
ame
nearer than they were, Mr. Sa=
msa
and the women came away from the landing and went, as if relieved, back into
the flat.
They decided the best way to make use of that =
day
was for relaxation and to go for a walk; not only had they earned a break f=
rom
work but they were in serious need of it.&=
nbsp;
So they sat at the table and wrote three letters of excusal, Mr. Samsa to his employers, Mrs. Samsa to her contractor and G=
rete
to her principal. The cleaner=
came
in while they were writing to tell them she was going, she'd finished her w=
ork
for that morning. The three o=
f them
at first just nodded without looking up from what they were writing, and it=
was
only when the cleaner still did not seem to want to leave that they looked =
up in
irritation. "Well?",
asked Mr. Samsa. The charwoman stood in the doorway=
with
a smile on her face as if she had some tremendous good news to report, but
would only do it if she was clearly asked to. The almost vertical little ostrich
feather on her hat, which had been source of irritation to Mr. Samsa all the time she had been
working for them, swayed gently in all directions. "What is it you want then?&qu=
ot;,
asked Mrs. Samsa, whom the cl=
eaner
had the most respect for.
"Yes", she answered, and broke into a friendly laugh that =
made
her unable to speak straight away, "well then, that thing in there, you
needn't worry about how you're going to get rid of it. That's all been sorted out." Mrs. Samsa and Grete bent do=
wn
over their letters as if intent on continuing with what they were writing;<=
span
style=3D'mso-spacerun:yes'> Mr. Samsa saw that the cleaner wan=
ted to
start describing everything in detail but, with outstretched hand, he made =
it
quite clear that she was not to.
So, as she was prevented from telling them all about it, she suddenly
remembered what a hurry she was in and, clearly peeved, called out
"Cheerio then, everyone", turned round sharply and left, slamming=
the
door terribly as she went.
"Tonight she gets sacked", said Mr. Samsa, but he received no repl=
y from
either his wife or his daughter as the charwoman seemed to have destroyed t=
he
peace they had only just gained.
They got up and went over to the window where they remained with the=
ir
arms around each other. Mr. S=
amsa
twisted round in his chair to look at them and sat there watching for a
while. Then he called out:
"Come here, then. Let's forget about all that old stuff, shall we. Come and give me a bit of
attention". The two women immediately did as he said, hurrying over to=
him
where they kissed him and hugged him and then they quickly finished their
letters.
After that, the three of them left the flat
together, which was something they had not done for months, and took the tr=
am
out to the open country outside the town.&=
nbsp;
They had the tram, filled with warm sunshine, all to themselves. Leant back comfortably on their se=
ats, they
discussed their prospects and found that on closer examination they were no=
t at
all bad - until then they had never asked each other about their work but a=
ll
three had jobs which were very good and held particularly good promise for =
the
future. The greatest improvem=
ent
for the time being, of course, would be achieved quite easily by moving hou=
se;
what they needed now was a flat that was smaller and cheaper than the curre=
nt
one which had been chosen by Gregor, one that was in a better location and,
most of all, more practical. =
All
the time, Grete was becoming livelier.&nbs=
p;
With all the worry they had been having of late her cheeks had become
pale, but, while they were talking,
Mr. and Mrs. Samsa were
struck, almost simultaneously, with the thought of how their daughter was b=
lossoming
into a well built and beautiful young lady. They became quieter. Just from each other's glance and =
almost
without knowing it they agreed that it would soon be time to find a good man
for her. And, as if in confir=
mation
of their new dreams and good intentions, as soon as they reached their
destination Grete was the first to get up and stretch out her young body.